To Forget and Forgive
by Duchess Emma
Summary: It's a cheery afternoon until Merlin stumbles upon an unconscious Morgana on the border of Camelot. She wakes up and can't remember anything from the last 2 1/2 years. Can he trust her? What's her plan now? Who's enchanted her memory? Takes place after S3
1. Chapter 1

**I still have two unfinished Mergana stories (both at HOT precipices) and then this idea strikes. I actually blame Anastasia-G. When responding to her review for "A Thin Line", this idea flashed across my mind and bam, story idea. Anyways, hope you enjoy this. It's not something I've seen in many Mergana archives, although I'll admit I only read the more naughty 'T' and 'M' ones.**

**It takes place a few weeks after the end of S3. And Morgause isn't quite as injured as we're led to believe (haven't seen S4, although I know that spoiler).**

**Chapter 1**

The two people were whispering loudly in the stone hallway.

"She's a liability," said the voice of the man. His lavish clothing and the circlet on his head designated him as royalty.

"She's still my sister. We can't just kill her," said the woman. She was blonde, equally well dressed, with an air of authority about her.

The man paced down the hall and returned to stand in front of the woman. "Can't you just enchant her or something? Surely you know something powerful enough to bend her to your will."

The woman shook her head vehemently and said, "She's become too powerful. If she's capable of resisting us on this scale, any enchantment I use to control her will surely fail."

Scrubbing his hands over his face, he said, "There must be something."

"I know of something…but there's no guarantee that it'll hold. And it still might get her killed. She'll have to depend on Arthur's forgiveness," she said.

"We can't keep her here, Morgause. She's already thwarted several of our plans. You have three options: kill her, in which she won't have a chance to ruin anything else. Let her return to Camelot, as she desires, in which case we're doomed. Or you use whatever enchantment you've dreamed up to keep our secrets safe and her head intact. It's your choice."

After a moment of consideration, Morgause agreed, "Alright, alright. We'll go with the third option."

The man nodded and they both entered the door at the end of the corridor. It was small dungeon room, the damp air and sparse surrounding designating it as such. But seated on the floor was a woman, her chin raised mutinously at the intruders, her hands chained together and to the wall. Raven hair spilled over her shoulders and her blue velvet gown pooled around her. One might think submissive from the position, but the unholy light of rebellion in her eyes said otherwise. Morgana Pendragon, dethroned queen of Camelot.

"So you've come to some sort of decision? What's it to be? Death by hanging or an ironic gesture with witch burning?" the chained woman said, a note of steel in her voice.

"I'm sorry you've had such a change of heart, sister," said Morgause, her voice not the least bit kind.

"I'm not. I saw what a monster I'd become under your guidance, _sister_," Morgana finished with a sneer.

"Clearly I gave you too much credit. And too much practice at treachery. Indeed, I gave you everything a person could want. Love. Acceptance. Why, I'd even procured you a kingdom, with a chance to gain it back," she said.

"Those were your ambitions, not mine. I'd become your puppet. But I'm done with that game," spat Morgana.

"You ungrateful bitch," said the blonde woman through clenched teeth and a clay pitcher broke nearby. Her eyes had taken on a quick glare of gold.

Unfazed by the broken pitcher, Morgana raised her chin a notch higher and smirked, "Temper, temper. Pray, kill me quickly, because I don't know if I can tolerate your presence much longer."

On that, sister, we are agreed. But as much as you deserve such an end, I can't give you such satisfaction. We're still blood. Besides, I've heard another person has that task. And I've no wish to deny the almighty Emrys his due," she finished with a sinister smile.

Morgause raised her hands and said with deadly intent, "Goodbye, sister. I won't make the same mistake again. Because you're nothing but a disloyal bitch."

Then she spoke the words to a powerful spell. One that made the entire room teem with gusts of wind and bolts of lightening. Trying not to be afraid, Morgana gave her sister the same defiant look and shouted over the din, "Whatever it is you plan to do, it can't be worse than being here."

Her eyes began to flutter shut, the effects of the spell coming over her swiftly. She resisted as much as possible, but Morgause's loud chant, her power was too much. Within moments, Morgana was fully unconscious and slumped over on the floor.

Morgause smiled at the still body, "Oh, you'll rethink that taunt very soon, sister."

Merlin didn't mind the outdoors. In fact, of all the tasks he had to do in his minor role as physician's assistant, he quite enjoyed the 'gathering herbs' bit. It certainly beat out cleaning the leech tank any day.

Now Gaius did pick random times for him to pick herbs. 4 in the morning. 11:30 at night. And today was no different-right at noon when his stomach was growling from a long morning of mucking the stables. Mind, Arthur hadn't made him do that particular task in a few weeks. One of the few rewards from his recent show of loyalty.

Noonday flower, a plant that only bloomed at noon as the clever name suggested. And of course, it was on the closest border between Camelot and Cenred's or whoever it was's kingdom, about an hour's ride from the castle. He'd saddled a horse and rode out grumbling about silly old men and their penchant to ruin lunch. But once he got outside the citadel walls, he didn't feel quite so cranky. The sun was high, the breeze was nice, and he could milk this task for the rest of the afternoon. He had so few moments of freedom, it seemed a shame to waste it.

So he rode out to the border, content to finish his task as quickly as possible so as to enjoy the afternoon. He was whistling to himself as he got off the horse at the field where noonday flower grew.

Grabbing handfuls, he put copious amounts in his satchel, unwilling to receive the Gaius eyebrow because he hadn't brought back enough. He'd bring back a whole bloody garden of the stuff.

He continued to whistle as he ambled around the field, stuffing his pack full.

Suddenly something caught his gaze out of the corner of his eye. He immediately stopped whistling, intent on what appeared to be something red on the ground of the field. It had been quiet along Cenred's borders since the King's death, but Merlin knew better than anyone how dangerous the borderlands were. He'd let down his guard. Slowly he approached the flash of red, ready for anything-a pack of stealthy soldiers, a gryphon, a golden eagle. Maybe some type of freakishly large cardinal.

But as he moved closer to the object that caught his eye, he wasn't entirely sure what or who it was. His feet were quiet as he crept closer and closer to the red object, finally identifying it as a red cloak. That still didn't mean it wasn't a soldier.

He withdrew the dagger from his ankle as he snuck closer. From about seven feet away, he could see that it was a person, although they didn't appear to be moving. Carefully, he moved closer, dagger still at the ready.

But as the lines become clearer, it wasn't just a person. It was a woman. And from the lily-white complexion of her hand, a lady. She was turned to the side, her cloak covering most of her body and all of her face. A few pieces of dark hair spilled onto the ground next to her covered face.

At first he feared she was dead, but before he could process that possibility, he heard a softly drawn breath. He cautiously approached her, still uncertain of what to make of this. A woman near the border of Camelot and Cenred's kingdom? What had happened to her? Was she merely sleeping?

"My lady? May I be of some assistance?" he called loudly.

Silence was his only answer. Well, a villain wouldn't answer, would they? That would ruin the whole element of surprise. Still, it could be some poor lady of the court who'd been robbed and had her horse stolen. It was only chivalrous that he approach and discern her status. He might not be a knight, but he did have good manners.

He lowered the dagger but didn't sheathe it. Slowly he knelt by the woman's back and softly touched her shoulder.

Nothing. So she wasn't asleep. Then he turned her to her back, trying to determine the cause of her injuries.

But as the hood of the cloak fell away and her beautiful face came into view, he gasped and moved away.

Because it wasn't just a woman. Or a mere lady. The winged eyebrows. The lush red lips. The white oval face. Even with her jade eyes closed, he'd know her anywhere.

It was Morgana.

And if she was here, it looked like his carefree afternoon had just come to an abrupt end.

**FINIS**

**What's the verdict? I'm sure this will go up, although I'm pretty comfortable with it being a 'T' for now. Please review!**

**On an unrelated note,** **I'm looking into some Arthurian novels. Aside from **_**Merlin**_**, my tastes in Arthurian legend are fairly academic( i.e. Spenser's **_**Faerie Queene**_** and Mallory's **_**L'Mort d'Arthur **_**or Twain's **_**A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court**_**.) Are there any novels that anyone would suggest? I already have the **_**Mists of Avalon**_** on my list, but what about Mary Stewart's novels? Or really anything. I'm entirely open to suggestions.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

In this field of flowers, she looked like something out of a fairy tale.

He didn't remember many of the details about such stories from his youth, but names like Snow White and Sleeping Beauty came to mind. Women placed under a spell and forced to sleep until their shining Prince woke them with a kiss.

And while the setting and Morgana's beauty might've been the stuff of such stories, the very last thing Merlin wanted to do was press his lips to her deliciously red lips. Ok, so maybe if they were some one else's red lips and not the dethroned false queen of Camelot's…

Clearing the strangely errant thought, he focused on the task at hand. What was he to do with her? Was she actually as unconscious as she appeared? Carefully he walked on his knees closer; she didn't move. Scooting closer, he leaned over her. Her face was soft, relaxed, without any of the usual lines of anger on her forehead or bitterness around her mouth.

Intent to ascertain her state of wakefulness, he lifted his index finger and quickly poked her in the cheek. Watching for any signs of awareness, he did it again.

Nothing. No scrunching, no reaction at all. Puzzled, he stood and started to pace, glancing every few moments at her still body. He could just leave her. Maybe return with a handful of knights and Arthur. But who knows if she might wake up before he could return and run back to Cenred's kingdom.

He wished he knew what the hell she was doing here.

What if this was some new plan by Morgause? She'd enchanted Morgana's body before to carry a spell, what was to stop her from doing such? Maybe this time it was a plague or something worse.

But he'd been near her for a quarter of an hour now, shouldn't he be showing symptoms of something like that? Besides, why would Morgause drop a plague infested Morgana into a field in the middle of nowhere? Why not at the Citadel gates?

Had Morgana suffered some type of blow to the head? He hadn't noticed any bleeding, although he hadn't thoroughly examined her. Did he even care?

Maybe he should leave her, come back with Arthur and the knights. Yeah, he could just imagine how that conversation would go:

"_So you brought us all this way, Merlin, to what? Help you pick flowers?" Arthur would say. _

_He saw himself looking stupidly at the empty spot where she'd once been_. "_No, Morgana. She was there. She was right there. Unconscious."_

"_So you decide to leave my most diabolical enemy alone in the woods to bring reinforcements, trusting that she'd what? Stay unconscious and not run away? Maybe just lie here patiently when Cenred's kingdom which is no more than a few hundred yards away? " _

"_Well…I…that is," he would stutter as the knights snickered. _

He sighed dramatically and muttered, "Bloody hell." He'd have to bring her back. It was the only option. Arthur would never forgive him if Morgana had been Merlin's control, only to escape because he'd misdiagnosed her level of unconsciousness.

Kneeling beside her body, Merlin looped his arms under her knees and across her back. He stood and settled her against him, her limp head lolling against his shoulder.

It was eminently bizarre to have her in his arms now. He'd only ever had her in his arms once before, the day when she'd come running down the stairs in her nightclothes, trying to stop Arthur from leaving. Those brief moments had haunted his dreams for weeks afterwards. And not merely because of the frightened look on her face…but for the most inappropriate reasons. The glimpses of her scantily clad body. The feel of her silky skin under his hands.

That seemed like a lifetime ago.

He hadn't even carried her to the physician's chambers the two times he'd injured her in the last year. Not when she'd been knocked out by the falling rocks. And not when she'd tumbled down the stairs.

So yeah, it felt very strange to be carrying her now. He was no knight. And she was no lady, yet here they were cast in those roles. Too bad he was likely carrying her to her doom.

He looked down at her face. During her deceitful stint at Camelot's court, he thought for sure she slept with a devious smirk on her face. But here in the open sunlight of the noonday flower field, her face was merely….relaxed

He managed to get them both back to his horse, although maneuvering her into the saddle proved to be awkward. After placing her body over the horse's back, he climbed up into the saddle. Moving her up into a position seated in front of him required some creativity contortions on both their parts. Although, if she wasn't really awake, she'd done a pretty good job of pretending to be, her limp body had made the process extremely difficult.

Finally settled in the saddle, he stabilized her by looping his right arm around her slim waist. The other arm held the reins. As he set off at steady pace, her head nestled itself against his shoulder.

He couldn't help but notice how nice her hair smelled. More than nice, actually. Fragrant from the noonday flowers and something else that smelled extremely exotic. From the elaborate clothing and well kempt hair, it appeared that she hadn't suffered too much in hiding.

Although as he glanced down at her face, he felt a strange wave of protectiveness come over him. He'd forgotten how tiny she was, even his 'puny' arm, as Arthur liked to call it, could span her waist easily. And in her current state, she looked less like a villain and more like her old self. It was unsettling. She was unsettling. Her sudden reappearance into his life made him wary. She'd made his life a living a hell for the past year. Terrified that she'd tell Uther about the poisoning, constantly on guard for her next power-hungry move, and always, always fighting his own demons.

And then she showed up here. Dropped right back into his life once again, right into his arms. As the horse cantered on and the weight of her body pressed back against his, he tried not to notice how well they fit together. Bloody hell.

It was a long ride back to Camelot.

As they neared the village and the citadel, he quickly tugged the hood of her cloak down over her face. He didn't need to start a panic or incite a riot. And Morgana's face could do those very things. He told himself he wasn't being protective, just cautious, like usual. She was his responsibility for now. Only Arthur could determine her punishment.

He bypassed the grooms in the courtyard, who gave him some peculiar looks, but said nothing. After walking the horse to the alcove near the physician's chambers, he dismounted and somehow got Morgana's dead weight off the horse and into his arms again without incident.

He made his way through the hallway, careful to avoid any of the guards. Bursting into the physician's chambers, he found Gaius bent over a book.

Looking up with his monocle still up against his eye, he said. "Merlin, what's the meaning- Oh, put her down here," indicating the pallet.

As Merlin gently laid her down, the hood fell back, revealing her face.

"Merlin, that's Morgana," said Gaius, a look of pure shock on his face.

Exasperated, he said tartly, "Yes, Gaius, I bloody well know who it is."

"What happened?" said Gaius, bending over to examine her.

"I don't know, I just found her on in the field where the noonday flowers grow. She's been unconscious the whole time. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't just leave her, she might've woken up and got away. At the very least, I wanted to bring her back so Arthur could deal with her," said Merlin in a rush. "I've got to find him. If I run into any guards, I'll send them this way. "

"Yes, go. Although she does appear to be genuinely unconscious. I'll examine her further. But yes, bring Arthur. Immediately," said Gaius

Merlin ran out the door and quickly asked some passing guards to watch over the physician's chambers. He didn't say why. Then he ran up the stairs towards the Great Hall. The door was closed, something that symbolized that it was not open for company. But pushing open the door, he strode in to find a meeting in progress, Arthur at the head of the table.

"And we'll need to double the rations this year-Merlin, we're in the middle of something," Arthur said as he took in the sudden presence of his manservant.

Out of breath from the run and the adrenaline of the entire situation, Merlin doubled over and managed, "It's….important."

Annoyed, Arthur pursed his lips and said, "Well, it can wait. And furthermore, you can't just come barraging in here whenever you wish. It's official state business. This isn't your mum's house."

"Important….Morgana…you dollop…head," Merlin huffed.

Standing at the sound of his half-sister's name, Arthur walked towards his out of breath servant and demanded, "What about Morgana? What do you know? Is there an attack on the city?"

The other knights rose from the round table, their swords at the ready.

Finally gaining some control over his breath, Merlin finally said clearly, "Morgana's here. In the physician's chambers. But wait-." Arthur had already left the hall when he'd heard Morgana was in the physician's chambers. The knights had followed.

"Bloody prat," Merlin mumbled, then he set off after Arthur and the pack of knights nipping at his heels.

"She's unconscious!" he shouted but couldn't be heard above the clamor of armor or rattle of swords. In the distance he could hear Arthur shouting orders, more guards joining the fray.

Merlin ran quicker, trying to catch up before Arthur did anything rash. He didn't know why, but the idea of Arthur somehow harming an unconscious Morgana didn't sit well with him. As he neared the physician's chambers, he heard Gaius shout in surprise at the sudden siege of Camelot's finest. Shoving his way through the sea of knights that now clogged the entrance, Merlin managed to get to the front of the crowd in time to see Gaius stand in front of the bed.

Arthur, sword drawn and every inch the battle hardened warrior said in a steely voice, "Stand aside, Gaius. Let me have a look at the treacherous bitch."

"Sire, I really must insist, you must listen—" Gaius started but he was pushed aside.

"Arthur?" said a soft voice from the pallet. "What's the meaning of this? What are all these guards doing here? And why is your sword drawn? Is someone in danger?"

Gaius had removed her brazen cloak and she was settled back on a few pillows in her blue velvet gown, her long black hair tumbling about her shoulders. She had raised herself up on her elbows at the commotion with frown, confusion marring her delicate features.

"You are, from the sharp edge of my blade. What stops me from running you through right here?" Arthur said in response as he moved closer to lay the point of his sword against her chest.

More confusion then fear crossed her face, "Is this some type of joke? Why would you want to run me through?"

"Sire, she's-" Gaius started again.

"Quiet, Gaius. I think the witch can speak for herself."

Her eyes widened in surprise, "You know? You know I have magic?"

"Of course I know. How could I not know when you've used every opportunity to take my kingdom with it? Every bit of magic to destroy the woman I love, my father's mind? Everything," he finished through clenched teeth.

"What? I have no idea what you're talking about. Me use magic against Uther? Against Gwen? Arthur, I can barely keep my magic from lighting the curtains on fire. Arthur, this is me, Morgana. Surely you must recognize me," she said, a slight note of hysteria in her voice as she bravely stared him down.

"Oh, I know exactly who you are. And it's time you paid for your sins. Every last one of them," said Arthur with clear intent. He was more angry than Merlin had ever seen him. And after the whole Dragoon business, when he himself had been at the end of the Prince's blade, he didn't think it could get much worse. Apparently not.

"Sire, I insist that you let me speak. No matter your title, you can't simply stab a woman to death in _my_ chambers. Curb your murderous intentions for one moment and let me explain," Gaius said evenly.

When it appeared that Arthur had no intention of curbing anything, Merlin moved forward and placed a hand on his friend's shoulder and whispered, "He wouldn't ask if it weren't important. Just hear him out. She's in our control, she won't be able to escape."

"And please ask your knights to leave. They're completely crowding my lab. There are several dangerous chemicals and herbs that when exposed could cause a catastrophe," said Gaius annoyed.

Arthur, his eyes never leaving Morgana's face, said, "Fine. I'll listen to what you have to say, Gaius. But the witch still dies. By fire or by sword, I care not. And my knights will leave the room, but they'll stay outside."

Only then did he finally lower his sword from Morgana's chest and break eye contact with her.

"Merlin?" Morgana said, a note of panic in her voice. "What's the meaning of all this? What's happening?"

Confused, he didn't answer. She looked very frightened, not at all smug or arrogant. Why she hadn't even taunted Arthur when he'd had his sword to her chest. Unsure of what to make of this situation, he eagerly joined Gaius and Arthur near the window.

Gaius began, "Sire, I think she'd lost her memory."

"What do you mean lost her memory?" said Arthur skeptically.

"I mean, it appears she can't remember the last few years."

"Years? How can that be? How do you know that?" demanded Arthur.

"When she first awoke before you came in here, she was genuinely confused as to what she was doing here and what had happened to her. I asked her a few questions to be sure she wasn't concussed from some type of blow to the head. Specifically, I asked her what the last thing she remembered was. She said she remembered being stung by a scorpion on her way to the Druids. Sire, that happened over two and a half years ago," said Gaius.

A look of cynicism was etched into Arthur's features as he began, "How do you know she's not lying? How do you know this isn't some type of trick? She's done something like this before. Made herself seem innocent, only to bring Camelot to its knees."

"While I can't be absolutely certain, she does appear to be genuinely confused as to your recent actions," said Gaius.

"She's good at deception," said Arthur dismissively.

"True. But these types of injuries are uncommon, even in people who've suffered severe head trauma. Sire, I think it's likely the result of sorcery," finished Gaius, his usual and very serious pronunciation of the last word.

"Well, that makes sense. She's a sorceress. She could perform such a spell," said Arthur.

"Not on herself."

"Morgause then."

"She does have the power. But what's the motive behind this? If she were merely trying to get Morgana to infiltrate the castle, why wipe her memory?" said Gaius.

"I don't pretend to know either of those women's motives. Maybe Morgause wants to replenish Morgana's memory at the most opportune time," said Arthur stoutly.

Gaius started, "Sire, this is magic of the most extreme variety. Sophisticated but also nearly unbreakable. A spell like this couldn't be quickly undone. I don't even know if it can be."

"What are you saying?" said Arthur cautiously.

"I'm saying that for all intensive purposes, that woman over there is not the Morgana we've come to know. She's the one we knew before," said Gaius.

A moment of silence and then Arthur said, "I still say she's lying."

"You could be right, sire. But what if you're not? You'd essentially be executing an innocent woman. If I'm right, that Morgana hasn't done anything to warrant your hatred. Indeed, she hasn't even turned to darkness. She doesn't even know who Morgause is," said Gaius softly.

Frowning, Arthur turned to Merlin and asked, "Merlin, what's your take on all this?"

"I don't know, Arthur. You're right, she is a very good actress. But on the other hand, it's a lot of trouble to go through, even for Morgause. And with such few guarantees. I found her on the borderland between Cenred's kingdom and ours. In an isolated field. No one knew I was going there until I left. What if I hadn't have stumbled onto her? It wasn't an easy place for her to be found, nor was there any certainty that someone so…sympathetic would find her. Indeed, the people in the outlying villages were hurt the most by Morgana's takeover. If someone else had found her, who's to say they wouldn't have just brought you her dead body?" said Merlin.

Weighing Merlin's words, Arthur said, "True."

"I'm not saying you should welcome her with open arms like you did last time. I'm merely saying let's proceed with caution. Let's talk to her. Test her. See what we can find out before you decide to kill her." Merlin glanced over his shoulder at the face taut with worry. "I know this whole thing sounds crazy, but I think Gaius might be right. There something….of the old Morgana about her. I can't quite put my finger on it. I sensed it even before she regained consciousness. There's also something in the eyes, something of the old fragility that I remember from right before she went to the Druids. And you'll remember that last time she didn't fool me for long. I saw through her mask pretty quickly."

"Alright, we'll be cautious. But I'm keeping her under lock and key until we figure out what to do. She's not going to get another chance to destroy my kingdom again," said Arthur determinedly.

**FINIS**

**Please review!**


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